The Timewasting Troll

If Robin Cooper has taught me anything, timewasting is simply a creative outlet that revolves very much around very little meaning. Nothing profound is really to be gained and satisfaction is entirely one-sided when it comes to a dialogue between two people.

And if David Thorne has taught me anything, pushing people’s buttons by feigning understanding really, really yields results. Much like the classic ‘playing dumb’ game my attempts at discourse has only two rules. To keep replying no matter how little the commenter/commentator gives me to work with and to only give up if someone has guessed I’m a troll (Note: this rule is broken if there is a particularly juicy response below).

As for my aspirations, I am looking to make a variety of aliases of different genders, ages, beliefs and viewpoints. Adrian is my persona on the Daily Mail. 43, with 4 children and a lot of emotional baggage, Carol-Janine (Caz) will be my Mumsnet persona, 38, 2 children and a husband who is totally offing the pikey slag off the estate, who has multiple men on the go (her words, not my own*), the defunct but very much real-life Liz Jones, 58, who needs very little introduction and Mandy McGregor, 38, mother of three and very much a needy, unlucky-in-love Warrington native who was named after the English and Kerr song, best covered by the irrepressible Barry Manilow, Mandy. My final character is the original alias of Adrian (me), Giovanni Presley who very much wants to be a sort of half-baked Mary Whitehouse when it comes to bad language and standards. Oh, don’t get me wrong, the man is very much a liberal, but he doesn’t understand the current wave of viral ‘lists’ and user-related content. Giovanni works on a one line judgement statement which receives a juicy amount of condemnation, only to further explain himself. Giovanni has a fairly good command of English, for you see he went to the University of East Anglia, but it’s not perfect and he awaits the day people notice the man-made errors within the text.

19 things...

Starting point.


Stacy is ready to do battle for Giovanni with some choice words.



Enter Anne, who surprised me by replying late in the game but with a strong wager.


I got to tie in periods with another article


Chanele got it.

Nigel is inspired by the wonderful Adrian Mole. Agents of Sue Townsend – release the unfinal extracts!


Happy days!Screen Shot 2016-04-20 at 15.06.40


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